Aviation Quotes

[Stretch]

Ocean Crossing Flight: This is your captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as flotation devices

Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognise where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.

Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock..... one on our tail!!!!!! Eject!! Eject!!!

As the plane turns around right after take-off:....uhhhhh....we have to go back ...we ...we ...uhhhh ...forgot something...

This is your captain speaking... These stupid planes are alot different than the ships I'm used to, so you'll have to give me some leeway...

Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airline's new commitment to make your flight a sightseeing extravaganza.

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child... Pick your favourite!

On a long haul flight with a very 'experienced' cabin crew, the captain said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enchance the appearence of your flight attendants."